Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
