like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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