I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
