the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
