Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
pray to the hookup gods
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
