my phone needs a breathalizer
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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