Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
