Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
