im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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