he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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