I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
