So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize
