Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
