im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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