The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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