i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
