just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize