That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
