dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
