Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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