yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
