the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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