you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
