Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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