I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
