Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
