I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm passing your future prison.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
All the doctor said was why
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
