Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
