And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He shit in the fireplace
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
