I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
