Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
