i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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