I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
