dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
