Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
