Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you told grandpa to call you daddy
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
