you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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