Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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