Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
