ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize