ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Randomize
