Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
