OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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