I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
