The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
is that a dick in a sweater?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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