I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
