please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
