I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
