Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
