Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
