My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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