I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
