I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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